I went to the grocery store yesterday for the first time since the CDC recommended face masks and it was just so unnerving standing in line, waiting to go in the grocery story, to wear gloves and a mask, and follow the strict guidelines of the store. I know they are needed but I miss being in and engaging with the world, our community, and our friends and neighbors - not just having amazing conversations and being together at scheduled events but just the spontaneous meet and greets with friends and sometimes complete strangers. Helping someone who has their hands full of groceries, smiling to the neighbors when I walk the dogs, saying "hi" or "have a good day" to no one but everyone. I miss the open, lively spaces of life.
I enjoy being in the world and as I settle into Week 6 of Homeschooling - this is how I now track my days and schedule, I am finally slowing down, even just a little. I went for a run on Thursday morning and started to notice and remember how much I LOVE nature, I mean really love being outside. I knew that I loved spending time outdoors before the pandemic but I think the crisis, the social distancing, helped me to really "get it," understand this love deep in my bones. Amid the social isolation of this pandemic, I have reconnected with and a renewed awareness of my surroundings, nature, and our world.
It was a brisk Thursday morning in Massachusetts (remember, I am from Maryland) so it was cold and I put on my gloves and cap and clipped my pup to his leash and headed out. The morning air hit me in the most pleasant of ways, helping me to mentally relax, slow down, and take in the start of the day. It was an amazingly odd and wonderful weather day. In a span of an hour, I felt the warmth of the sunshine, the wetness of the rain, and the cold pelting of a few snowflakes, only in New England.
Running on our neighborhood roads, passing the marshes, smelling the salt air of the Atlantic Ocean, and feeling the cold morning breeze made me grateful for the quiet and peace of this natural isolation. I miss being in the world, in fellowship with my friends, family, and neighbors, craving human connections. This morning I found a different, heartfelt, and mindful connection within me and from the sights and sounds around me. Running along the road to the rhythm of the ocean waves, trying to use the swift breeze to help me up the seemingly never ending hills made me feel a part of something, almost on a team in sync with nature.
Similar to pre-COVID life, there is also a sort of confrontation when I run. As I headed back home, there was a moment as I turned right on to a familiar and hilly road to make my way home, on this morning, the hill just seemed to go on and on and this is where I waged a battle of sorts, facing a head wind and a bit of rain hitting my face as I made my way up that hill. Even then, in a bit of almost friendly confrontation, I felt connected, engaged, in conversation with nature as I pushed to get up that hill. Before COVID-19, I am not sure I would have recognized this intimate relationship I have with nature as I run and explore our surrounding. Outdoor exercise and running, in particular, have and continue to represent great outlets for me, a time of peace and solace but now, it is a time to pay better attention to my surroundings, to listen carefully to the other inhabitants of our town, and actively participate in this natural community. It is an opportunity to converse and engage in ways that I forgot were possible and that matter so much.
I am grateful for the quiet, peaceful moments, taking in the absence of the flurry of our lives, and the open time in our normally crazy schedules. I am thankful for getting back to what matters to me and our family and for the time to reconnect with our environment in all of its wonder. I think, in many ways, this unremarkable act of a daily run gives me a chance to connect with the world, find happiness from being a part of something, and explore new and different ways to engage and converse. I will be thrilled when social isolation is no longer needed in our town but even as we resume our new normal and return to our busy, full lives, I feel certain that I will continue to run to cultivate a natural space to listen, see, and strengthen my connections with the beauty and surroundings of our great community. This crisis, as weird as it sounds, created a moment for me to reconnect with our physical world and for that, I am grateful.