Normally, when we think about permission slips, my sense is that we either remember that we forgot to sign a slip for our kids to participate in an upcoming trip or activity at school OR we recall a time when we had to ask one of our own family members to sign a slip so WE could go on some cool field trip or outing. In the era of COVID-19, the permission slip to which I refer is not an actual permission slip to be signed and submitted. I am talking about giving yourself permission to feel whatever the heck you feel, to express and act on a need to check out (even for a moment), and to just take a break to exhale. These times are unprecedented and we all deserve some grace and empathy when things get hard.
I have heard too many of my friends, colleagues, students, and family members beat themselves up or apologize to others about how they didn't do well during the day, could not manage all of the old and new responsibilities, and complain even when they actually have it okay relative to others' situations.
Look - these are unprecedented times and we are all taking on way more than we are used to managing. Our new responsibilities are taking a physical and emotional toll AND we are trying to do it while in isolation from our usual social networks. We have to feel all of these feelings in order to work through these days. Now is not the time to push down the frustration, brush aside your feelings, or be the one who never takes a break. We must take care of ourselves so that we can better care for others and sustain ourselves throughout this time in a healthy and safe way. We need to literally or figuratively sign a permission slip that says "I have permission (and my support) to show vulnerability, to express what I am feeling about this whole situation when I need to do so, AND take a time out when I just need a moment to breathe." This is not easy for many of us (me included!) but it is important work. Remind yourself every day that you have permission and remind your friends and colleagues, and students to also give themselves permission, give each other some grace. I was listening to Brene Brown's new podcast and she was speaking to Glennon Doyle, the author of Untamed, and Doyle said that liberation is NOT one way - if we free ourselves from this need to "keep it together" all of the time, you are also giving someone else permission to do the same. I am not sure I can think of an action that emotes more kindness and giving than that. SUCH a great point!!
Sign the permission slip and review it every day.
Stay safe, stay healthy, and be kind to yourself and others in these unprecedented times.
If you have a moment (yes, I know, I know), please send me an email with one way you are giving yourself permission. How are you engaging in self-care and managing this situation in a healthy and safe way? I would love to hear from all of you. Thanks.